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THE INACCURATE CONCEPTION

CHRISTMAS came early to Clatford in the form of CADS most recent production The Inaccurate Conception . Written by Richard Ahsam and Geoff Saunders it's a comical look at a young teacher's struggle to produce the school's nativity play.

Precocious, disruptive and unco-operative children, overbearing parents and backstabbing colleagues all add the nightmare which is intended to be a 'great learning experience' for Celia Whibley, played persuasively by Helen Woods. The audiences at Goodworth Clatford village club clearly sympathise with her as she battles on while schoolmistresses Cusp and Belcher (Margaret Scard and Marilyn Hilllier) plot to ruin her and steal the glory.

Verruca Street Primary School Class 3C is full of talented seven-year-olds. None so brilliant as the balletic Kim Mawby who never falters as she plays mummy's precious Je'th' ica . She is won over by the clever words of the budding brain of Britain , Dougal, How did Geoff Scard remember those complicated lines?

Blood thirsty Shane, proves an excellent part for an energetic John Roberts-Davies, who gives his all especially while protecting Jessica from the attentions of an unwitting members of the audience.

Mike Goddard is excellent in his portrayal of sickly Spencer, whose strict upbringing has shattered his confidence. His amazingly elastic facial expressions add to the dramatic tension and amusement.

Just when poor Celia thinks she is heading for disaster Shane's dad, played by Peter Smith, comes to the rescue. He commandeers all the other parents - Christine McCann, Alwyn Tucker, Ann Buckley and David Grey - into an overnight makeover of the school hall helped by school caretaker Percy Snodgrass (Dennis Newnham).

They save the day and the hilarious nativity play goes ahead, with school secretary Pat Carter tinkling the ivories, after a welcome break for a themed supper 'school dinners' in the interval.

Siobhan (Janet Smith) brings the house down when she appears dressed as Frankenstein for her part as one of the three kings bearing gifts for the baby Jesus. Marlene Saunders, as Melanie, brings gold. Will no-one let Craig (Bob Houghton) out of his misery and tell him what myrrh is?

Little terrors Justine and Melanie, play a couple of scary angels and sheep. A comic double act made for Sharon Colpman and Anne Blake who could put the fear of God into anyone.

Headmistress Octavia Dutton-Griggs (Lynn Brown) has to admit it's a triumph for Celia and the other teachers - Cusp, Belcher, Mr Miller (Peter Bray), Edwina Elginbrod (Jean Williams) reluctantly have to agree.

All in all a triumph too for director Cliff Tucker and the backstage crew of Alan and Annie Willens, Murray Colpman, Chris Upchurch, and a strong team of helpers.